Eventually the leaving the spouse will feel both better and further away in time, distance and every way that counts. If you can find something to do where you are that used to make you feel better when you were a little girl...do that some more now...coloring, eating a favorite food 3 meals in a row, only wear clothes you really, really like.........key to going "home" can be staying away from folks who gave you grief in the past or lessen time with them.....Become Boundry Betty until you can handle the static you know to expect...Re-read a book you've already read 18,000 times. May take a while to remember resources you already have around you. I am trying dancing alone...works for me...