Your Shortcomings Can Be Your Superpowers

Warning: This may be a trigger post for some.

Negativity. Why it is so popular, I will never understand. I used to be a negative Nancy myself, so I do understand how it can swallow you whole. Of course, I’m human and still have negative thoughts, so I get it. I really do. Sometimes life is the pits, and life with MS can feel like an extra ton of negativity on your back. The extra negativity can unleash the Hulk in all of us from time to time. BUT, one thing I will never understand is why people choose to stay stuck there. I’ve found surrounding MS, and even in MS communities, negativity has run rampant. There’s negativity from others towards us, and then there’s the negativity that some after diagnosis can’t ever shake, and then unknowingly spew that onto others. It honestly saddens me on both ends. To live life only seeing negative aspects of every situation and to constantly be negative towards others makes life seem so hopeless.

The world can already be cruel

I for one, can’t let negativity get me down. I’ll be honest, from time to time it does, and I’m sad to say I sometimes allow it to affect me. However, I refuse to let other people’s miserable demeanors and outlooks shed any light on my views. Yep, MS stinks. It’s taken a huge toll on my life, and I’ve faced my demons because of it. I have determined though, after many years of dealing with this subject, that it doesn’t do any of us one bit of good. Not even a little bit. We are not stuck with negative mind-sets. In my opinion, bettering ourselves should always be a priority, and sometimes I think people forget that, including myself. This world can already be so harsh and cruel, what good does it do to add to that?

Words have power

Words are incredibly powerful and they have so much impact. I like to remind myself; words have power to heal, power to destroy and power to change the world. Are the words I’m writing or saying helping someone or hurting someone? I love writing and hope to uplift others by the things I say, but sometimes that comes with a lot of backlash. Negative people tend to hate positivity. And, I’ve come to the conclusion that all I can do is wish them the best. From my own experience with my negativity in the past, and my positivity today, I choose positivity daily, hands down.

Compassion towards others that are hurting

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t at all dislike negative people. I have so much compassion towards others that are hurting and down, because I’ve been there. What I dislike is people that project their personal negativity onto others to try and break their spirits. I think a sad part of today’s society is people become so bitter and negative because they forget to have empathy and compassion for others. They forget that others are facing their own battles too. So many times we lash out at people when we have no idea that their brother just died, or they’re contemplating suicide later that day. What we forget to stop and think is that our negativity could be what breaks someone, and for me, that’s a huge reason to stop and think before I speak or write something online. Negativity is a breeding ground for negative outcomes.

Facing my demons

I like to think that my shortcomings in being negative with MS early on has now become a kind of superpower. I’ve always been one to try and use the negativity I had in my past to help others now. I don’t wish this disease and it’s life changes on anyone. But, I’m also not going to give it the power of ruining my life. I just can’t. I used to lack the empathy and compassion I have now, because I was so angry. I didn’t care about what others were going through, because I was so consumed with myself. I think we all go through those moments. What I realized though, is that how I was acting was not benefiting anyone, not even myself. It hurt me more to be negative and wallow in the hard things life had given me, than to face them. Once you face those demons though, life really can be ok. In fact, it can be more than ok, it can be great!

Perspective

It’s all in your perspective. My superpower came in seeing that negativity didn’t have to be a part of my life. When I came to that huge realization, it not only helped me feel better, but I was able to use my personal positivity to be able to see when others were low and needed to be lifted up by a kind word or gesture. Reach out, join a community and surround yourself with others who have been in the same boat. You’re not alone. A positive life with sincere happiness is just around the corner, but to achieve it, you have to surround yourself with it. I’m not saying to go around and act like everything is butterflies and unicorns, because I know it’s not, but there’s such a difference in having negative moments and being stuck with a negative life. I just hope we can all (including myself) remember to stop and think before we speak. To let our words uplift someone and not tear them down. We all have to help each other, and be there to carry each other through the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

Reaching out

I don’t say any of these things because I’m the perfect positive person. I’m nowhere near that, but I would like to be. I strive to be that. I’m just disheartened by the negativity I see surrounding us, and seeing how it can truly hurt someone. Don’t let your thoughts and words hurt yourself and others. Allow your shortcomings to become your superpower.

And if negativity has gotten you to a point where you don’t think you can go on, I urge you to talk to someone. There are so many people out there willing to help, and just to listen. Sometimes simply knowing someone is there or that someone understands makes all the difference in the world.

XOXO,

Calie

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

View Comments (14)
  • PS98107
    9 months ago

    It’s always lovely to hear an uplifting and positive story and you are right, Calie! I believe The biggest superpower we have is our will when coupled with hope and focus and after stripping off the sticky veneers of doubt and negativity. This is the key to our brain’s ability to adapt, change, and make new neural connections like mine and me dad’s did. Positive thinking, while not as prevalent, is much more powerful than negative thinking! https://multiplesclerosis.net/stories/neuroplasticity-reality-hope-knows-no-illness/ XOXO!

  • freedom
    10 months ago

    I was diagnosed 9 years ago and I believe I have been negative for the last 8!!!!! My losses felt so huge and engulfed in a land of hurt, loss and a complete loss of self and identity. It has been rough. Been then something happened and slowly I began to accept all of my losses and realized this is FOREVER! It seemed this budding acceptance paved the way for and the love of live and others slowly returned. It takes a long time for some off us to LEARN how to cope. And the boogeyman does visit at night still. It’s the great fear of our unknown futures. I say let’s just love all and meet people where there at. And yes we msers can be harsh and negative. Thank you for your article.

  • JimmyMac
    10 months ago

    Calie, you are a very good writer. Your article was very good. Still, I think we need to be pragmatic in our positivity. We all know we have MS and that stinks but I think we run the risk of wasting our life if we try to understand why we are sick. So why not be positive because most people don’t see why we should ever be positive. So why not?

  • Meagan Heidelberg moderator
    10 months ago

    Awesome way to look at this, JimmyMac! Thank you for reading as well as sharing your thoughts with us and the community.

    Warmly,
    Meagan, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • katrina
    10 months ago

    Nice article. It is hard at times when we are dealing with our own problems to stay positive but you’re right. And on a mentally bad day this could have upset me, but it didn’t. Having a good day.

  • Meagan Heidelberg moderator
    10 months ago

    Great, Katrina! Thank you for reading as well as sharing your thoughts. Glad you were having a good day! Hoping they continue.

    Meagan, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • MamaJama
    10 months ago

    You are absolutely right! I could not agree more and positivity is the only thing I see. I think you would enjoy the story that I just published. It’s called my conscious decision. Is a mirror image of your stories. Thank you thank you for spreading your positivity!

  • Meagan Heidelberg moderator
    10 months ago

    Awesome, MamaJama! I personally look forward to reading your story!!

    Meagan, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • freedom
    10 months ago

    Hi. I was diagnosed 9 years ago. I was so sick. I can’t even explain it to non mser’er because it sounds crazy and some have not had their world completely turned upside down. I was blown away how the body could take such an asult. I was put out on immediately disability. I was incredibly sad. It has taken nine years for me to come to a place where I am at peace so to speak and find my voice. Positively and made its way back in and yes it does help. Thanks for your post. We must spread out love to all.

  • Meagan Heidelberg moderator
    10 months ago

    We are so glad that you have found peace, @freedom! It’s extremely difficult for one to understand the demands and hardships that MS can place on a person and their family. Education is certainly key. We appreciate you reading and sharing your journey with MS.
    Best – Meagan, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • Shelley D.
    10 months ago

    Hi Calie ~ Thank you so much for that beautiful article! I, myself was a Negative Nancy, for the past couple of years. I had a few trying life events, the main one being transitioning to a wheelchair from a MS attack. I was around too much negative energy, and became a person I didn’t recognize anymore! Fortunately, I can see that now & hope to keep from slipping back there ever again! An English professor once said “Your perception is your reality.” We do need to give ourselves an attitude adjustment from time to time…and spend more time with people who bring us up rather than down! It seems like you are an uplifting person! Keep on keepin’ on! 🙂

  • PollyCShafer
    10 months ago

    Thanks for the words of encouragement! Keep it up!

  • J R
    10 months ago

    Warning: This may be a trigger post for some.

    You are young and vibrant, work out 4-5 times a week and write articles that may be a trigger post for some.

    You used to be a Negative Nancy but you can’t understand how somebody can be ‘so down’ “And if negativity has gotten you to a point where you don’t think you can go on, I urge you to talk to someone”. ANNOYING is the word for me to describe this article. I sincerely hope that you never get to the point where walking or going to the restroom is just an every second battle.

    I thought I left a post here a while ago that said “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their battle too”. Maybe it was on one of the other MS publications.

    Sometimes I am Negative Nancy, and for that, I am not apologizing. Please be kind to me also. I reiterate. I hope that you never have to go through the never ending battles I do but I would never take my own life and I do not like the inference that I would. Sincerely, J.R.

  • Meagan Heidelberg moderator
    10 months ago

    Hi J.R.!
    Thank you so much for commenting. This is real, honest, and we appreciate you sharing your voice. I love your post, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their battle too”, because you’re absolutely correct! No matter how big or how small, a battle is a battle. Never apologize for being real. We understand where you are coming from. Certainly thinking of you, and know that we are here for you!

    Best – Meagan, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

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